Identifying the disease in your Loved one and Understanding its complexities
Human beings are mainly hedonistic. Addiction is part of human nature. Addiction is defined as A chronic progressive behavioural pattern of an individual to seek pleasure or to reduce pain, has a tendency to grow in intensity, frequency and /duration, there is the inability to reduce or refrain from the behaviour when tried, there is a distinct physical, psychological pain, that is reduced by repeating the same act. This behaviour directly causes impairment of the individual’s interpersonal, personal, social and spiritual aspects.
Traits of an individual with an Addictive personality – Intellectually superior, emotionally fragile, sensitive, unable to deal with one’s emotions and socially manipulative. A person is born with an addictive personality. In a constructive direction, he/she will be a super achiever but will always require more love and attention than the other children. In the self-destructive direction, he/she turns to substance use addictively.
Signs of Addiction
How would you identify that your loved one is addicted to a substance from an early phase? The following are the signs:
·
Early Phase
- There is an Increased Tolerance to alcohol/drugs to get the same high.
- There are episodes where a person goes through activities like walking, talking, or even driving a vehicle ‘apparently normally’, with NO recollection of them afterwards; this is called a Blackout.
- There is a constant preoccupation with planning the next drink session/fix. Family plans are made around the availability of drinks or avoided for the same.
Middle Phase
- Loss of control through an increasing number of drunk episodes
- Justifying usage through emotional reasons outside of oneself- the blame game
- Grandiose behaviour through spending unnecessarily, taking wrong business decisions under the influence
- Trying to control use by not drinking for a few days to keep the job or keep the family members quiet.
- Addictive logic takes over wherein illogical decisions are made to protect one’s drinking or using- e.g. jobs are left because the job was being affected by one’s drinking.
Chronic Phase
- Physical, mental and social deterioration.
- Binge drinking – Drinking for days on end, losing physical health but unable to stop.
- Ethical breakdown – stealing, lying and hiding takes over. Every relationship, beginning with oneself, is strained and damaged.
Thus the transformation from Dr Jekyll to Mr Hyde is complete.
One of the major obstacles in getting treatment or accepting help is the Denials you see in your loved one regarding their addictive use:
- Avoiding the topic (“I’ll talk about anything but the problem!”). Making someone else feel guilty is one of the most common diversion tactics in such situations.
- Absolute Denial (“No, not me!”). One refuses to see the truth even though that truth is plain to everyone else. This is not lying because the individual believes s/he is correct, and everyone else is mixed up.
- Minimizing (“It’s Not That Bad!”). E.g., “I drink, but I don’t do drugs.”; “I don’t drink that much – I don’t fall in the gutter!”
- Rationalizing (“I Have a Good Reason!”). Rationalizing and Justifying Eg:” I worked hard all week and deserved to party on Friday.”
- Blaming (“It’s Not My Fault!”). Blaming others for individual problems is almost a societal epidemic, and the addict is an expert.
- Intellectualization They spend much time analyzing themselves, others, and the world around them. They use this “thinking about the problem” to ” look for solutions” while not taking any real personal responsibility or steps toward change.
Thus Addiction is a baffling, cunning and manipulative illness. It is a relapse-prone progressive disease which, if left untreated, will result in the insanity or death of the individual.
Exploring Diverse Aspects of Addiction
Substance Abuse in Women
The woman of today is a Superwoman managing home and work with élan – except for a very deep-rooted conditioning of emotional dependency. Making her vulnerable to dependency and co-dependency. Amongst the elite, the woman feels emotionally neglected by an over-occupied spouse. In all instances, the woman feels underappreciated. Thus, they cannot get beyond emotional dependence despite financial and educational independence. Addiction is detected after a long period and remains often hidden due to fear of social stigma. Women are affected physically more, owing to their shorter stature, metabolism and hormones. Losing inhibitions and rationality makes them more vulnerable to sex and sexual abuse. She is ridden by guilt, resentment and fears, isolating her from her true self and loved ones.
Childhood Trauma and Substance Abuse
The story of substance abuse leading to Addiction lies not in the substance but in the individual- especially how one perceived one’s childhood experiences, translated them to one’s reality and perpetrated self-harm to escape from that trauma.
Forms of Childhood Trauma:
- Child sexual abuse
- Maltreatment -physical and emotional abuse
- If your child has been neglected or there has been childhood negligence perceived towards your loved one
- Witnessing domestic violence or experiencing it.
- Loss of parent resulting in guilt and feeling of abandonment.
- Illness of a loved one, physical or mental, where the child goes through feelings of responsibility, of having to be an adult before time- caregiver, co-dependent.
- Many adults who get into substance abuse might unconsciously imitate parents of using seen in parents who have been substance abusers.
Sexuality and Intimacy in Addiction
Alcohol and drugs reduce inhibitions and increase sexual drive. As inhibitions drop with intoxication, promiscuity and unsafe sex are indulged in. The duration of the sexual act from initiation to orgasm lasts longer under intoxication, giving the illusion of it being better. Still, though the drive and desire are still high, the performance is affected. Consequently, intimacy and sexual relationships with one’s partners are affected.
Youth and Addiction Issues
The youth of any generation is the clay from which future adults emerge. Today they have the world literally in the palm of their hands. There is so much information bombardment. The minds that are already highly impressionable are spoilt for choice. There is also excessive experimentation, use, abuse and Addiction to drugs and alcohol.
The patterns of drug consumption have also changed. Alcohol intake is not to savour the taste but to get completely “wasted”. Marijuana today is no longer just “a herb” but comes in very potent forms and is adulterated with chemicals. We have treated too many young people with Addiction to only marijuana, who have wasted their lives consequently by dropping off studies and being non-productive.
Marijuana gets one acquainted with dealers and users who deal in other drugs, thus becoming a “gateway” for further use. A naturally curious adolescent and young mind craving for new experiences does not even realize before it is engaged and engulfed in the usage of drugs that are addictive even on single use.
Today heroin is laced with fentanyl, Nbome is sold as LSD, mephedrone as cocaine etc., and these are extremely addictive and potentially very fatal.
The youth of today are thus looking for answers to drugs/alcohol etc., and the world gets more virtual and real-time communication with family diminishes. A grounding within themselves is lost. If channelled through meditative practices inwards, this intelligence, curiosity, and drive can be tremendous progress in every sphere of life, physical, mental and spiritual, and the world can progress. Else it is going to be a zombie world where a substance is taken for everything from waking up[coffee], to work, to stay alert [Adderal], to stay calm[alprazolam] to sleep [alcohol, valium] and would be apocalyptic.
The most common questionnaire for alcohol and drug use is the CAGE questionnaire.
CAGE Questions Adapted to Include Drug Use (CAGE-AID)
[CAGE is an acronym for Cut, Annoyed, Guilty, Eye-opener ]
- Have you ever felt you should reduce your drinking or drug use?
- Have people annoyed you by criticizing your drinking or drug use?
- Have you felt bad or guilty about your drinking or drug use?
- Have you ever had a drink or used drugs first thing in the morning to steady your nerves or to get rid of a hangover (eye-opener)?
Scoring: Item responses on the CAGE questions are scored 0 for “no” and 1 for “yes” answers, with a higher score indicating alcohol problems. Even one positive score indicates the presence of an alcohol/drug problem that requires treatment in the form of rehabilitation.
The disease of Addiction is thus the great social leveller.